8 Signs of Disordered Eating You Might Be Overlooking
Picture of two tables and empty chairs with foliage and light coming through the windows
Disordered eating rarely announces itself. It tends to creep in disguised as discipline, ambition, or just "being healthy" — which is part of why so many people live with it for years before recognizing it for what it is. As a therapist working with clients across Brooklyn and NYC, I regularly meet people who are surprised to learn that a pattern they've had since college, or since a stressful year at work, actually has a name.
Here are some of the signs I see most often, along with why they matter.
1. Food Rules That Feel Non-Negotiable
Do you have a strict list of "good" and "bad" foods? Do you feel real anxiety or guilt when you eat something outside your usual rules — even once? Do you even have dreams about eating food that feels too indulgent? Rigid food rules aren't really about nutrition; they're often a way of managing anxiety by controlling something tangible. When those rules start dictating your mood or your social plans, that's worth paying attention to.
2. Mental Math Around Every Meal
Constantly calculating calories, macros, or "points" before and after eating — to the point where it's hard to just enjoy a meal — is one of the clearest signs that food has moved from nourishment into obsession. This is especially common among clients in Brooklyn's fitness-forward neighborhoods, where tracking apps and wellness culture can blur the line between health-consciousness and control. A great question to ask yourself is when was the last time I had a meal where I was able to be present with others around the table and I wasn’t in my head thinking about what I was taking in.
3. Eating in Secret or Feeling Shame Around Food
If you find yourself hiding what or how much you eat from friends, partners, or coworkers, or feeling a flush of shame after a meal others didn't seem to think twice about, that secrecy is a signal. Shame thrives in isolation, and it's often a sign that food has become tangled up with self-worth.
4. Using Exercise to "Earn" or "Undo" Food
Compulsive exercise — working out to compensate for eating, or feeling unable to skip a workout even when sick, injured, or exhausted — is a common companion to disordered eating. It's easy to miss in a city like ours, where boutique fitness culture often praises exactly this kind of relentlessness. Being curious around if you’re using movement and exercise to get out of your body or to get into your body is often a helpful route to explore.
5. Skipping Meals to Manage Stress or Emotions
Some people restrict food not to control weight, but to manage overwhelming emotions — skipping meals during high-stress weeks, or losing your appetite entirely when anxious. If food often takes a back seat to your emotional state, rather than being a steady, reliable part of your day, that's a pattern worth exploring. Hunger and fullness cues often get confusing when you have high levels of activation and digestion can shift when you’re not in your window of tolerance.
6. Cycles of Restriction and Overeating
A pattern of eating very little for stretches of time, followed by episodes of eating past fullness (sometimes to the point of discomfort), is one of the most common — and most misunderstood — signs of disordered eating. It's rarely about willpower. It's usually the body and mind responding to and compensating from periods of restriction.
7. Body Checking and Comparison
Frequently checking your body in mirrors or looking at old photos of yourself, weighing yourself multiple times a day, or comparing your body to others' — especially on social media — can quietly erode self-esteem and reinforce food-related anxiety. In a visually driven city where curated feeds and "what I eat in a day" content are everywhere, this comparison trap is easy to fall into without noticing.
8. Food Thoughts That Crowd Out Everything Else
If thoughts about food, your next meal, or your body take up a disproportionate amount of mental space — making it hard to focus at work, enjoy time with friends, or simply be present — that mental load is itself a sign, regardless of what your actual eating looks like day to day. Proper nourishment and nutrition lends to you being more present in your life, it doesn’t take up your whole life.
What to Do If This Sounds Familiar
If you see some of your own private habits and thoughts in this list, know that there is care available to you. Many of these have become so incredibly common it can feel hard to suss out where the line is between health and disorder. Also for people living in fast-paced, appearance-conscious environments like Brooklyn and the rest of NYC, where wellness culture and social comparison are part of daily life, this can all get really normalized. But when several of these patterns show up together and start shaping your mood, relationships, or day-to-day functioning, it's a sign that your relationship with food deserves some attention.
You don't need to hit a crisis point to seek support. In fact, most of the clients I work with come in long before things feel "bad enough" — they just notice that food has become more complicated than it should be, and they want that to change.
Support Is Available in Brooklyn
If any of these signs sound familiar, you don't have to untangle them on your own. At Fig Therapy, I work with individuals across Brooklyn and NYC to build a calmer, more flexible relationship with food, body image, and self-worth. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the first step toward feeling more at ease with food. Disordered eating is not often a standalone experience. We also work with anxiety, trauma, and offer somatic therapy to offer you the most care and support.